Slow Motion

So early this past week, I had a bit of a health scare (also why I had to postpone certain updates on this blog).  I was feeling this minor/sometimes intense tight/heavy feeling in the center of my chest for the past two weeks.  It wasn't a very strong feeling per say, which is why I didn't really inform anyone about it and thought it would just go away soon.  Well, I was quite wrong.  Two weeks had passed by and at exactly the 2 week mark, I was about to head in to work when I just couldn't deal with the discomfort and ignore the situation anymore.  I went to the ER and got blood work, a heart scan and an X-Ray done, just to be safe.  The results came back after 6 hours of waiting in multiple rooms and I'm happy to report that everything seems to be okay.  I do have one final doctor's appointment tomorrow morning just to make sure nothing was overlooked.

Growing up with so many people around me getting sick/ill I think has somehow instilled these negative feelings I have towards any hospitals, doctors and check-ups.  I can vaguely remember the time where my dad was diagnosed with cancer and the surgery.  I was quite young then, so the actual memories are a blur but the emotions and feelings I felt during that time, I can still remember.  To make those negative feelings about being in a hospital more predominant, around six years ago, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer as well.  Thankfully both of my parents were able to get the appropriate treatment and are now recovered and healthy.  When I was younger as well, my grandmother was diagnosed with an illness which eventually took her life away as well.  On top of everything, in the summer of the year before I was to go into high school (end of August), my appendix burst and I was hospitalized until after Thanksgiving (in Canada, Thanksgiving is in October)  This was due to the fact that I was misdiagnosed by a doctor who said I had a kidney problem instead, which lead to me having to stay in the hospital to deal with being misdiagnosed.  I hate to say it, but its because of such experiences,  I've come to really avoid getting any sort of checkups (unless I needed to get certain shots for travel or vaccines).

Its ironic isn't it?  Technically speaking, if one was to develop any sort of illness the best way to fight and treat it would be to get frequent checkups and to see your family doctor if you felt like something was wrong or off.

As I sat in the hospital for the six hours waiting for my test results from the doctor, all these emotions and thoughts flew into my mind.  What if it really was my heart (you're never too young) and that I had some kind of heart issue?  What if my time on this earth was now cut shorter and now even more limited then I had assumed?  It was scary and really stressful to think about all these things...

This experience made me realize how precious each moment we have in each day was.  Sure this is extremely cliche to say here.. as I'm sure many of you have heard the typical saying of "Carpe Diem" but I do believe that every now and then we need moments like this (hopefully not as scary) to have our "a-ha" moments and wake up.

So don't take your moments for granted.  Take in each day.  Do what you believe in.  Don't let your passions goto waist.  Oh!  And don't take your health for granted.

Photo taken through Instagram at our cottage trip Oct 2011